7/17/2007

Conservative Columnist Kevin McCullough Hates Homosexuals a Bit Too Much:
Last month, the Rude Pundit first discussed conservative spooge bucket Kevin McCullough, a man who seems so deeply in the closet that the mice want him to get the fuck out. His bio, including the fact that he writes a "750 word" column and that his Christian talk radio show can be heard across the country on the Internet (what marvels, eh?), is such a sad conglomeration of wannabe, oughtabe, and willneverbe that you wanna tell him that you'd do a reacharound while giving him the ass-fucking attention he seems to so desperately crave. Anyone who calls his "movement" the "Musclehead Revolution" is either laughing with his gay friends about putting one over on the rubes with high-speed or is a goddamn idiot. Time will tell with McCullough.

McCullough is useful only in showing us how much of the retro-anti-liberal arguments are still in existence. Like his strange belief on how much Democrats want you to fuck. Last week, he wrote in "Democrats: Pandering to Perverts 101" (get it? They're teaching us how) about Democratic presidential candidates agreeing to a forum hosted by the standard bearers of equality for icky sodomites, the Human Rights Campaign. Writes Kev-boy, "Homosexual behavior and Christianity do not mix. From the standpoint of theory, theology, doctrine, and practice the two are totally and completely incompatible; as are adultery, pornography, bestiality, pedophilia, pre-marital sex, incest, cross dressing, multiple partner orgies and the list goes on." Man, that is some old-school gay-bashing. And ya gotta love calling Christian belief "theory," as if it's some scientifically testable idea. (McCullough bold-faced and italicized the first line of that quote. The Rude Pundit thinks that's fucking stupid, ergo the edit.)

Apparently, Democrats "have an insatiable lust for the sexually depraved among us." And widdle Kev-boy has a mission: "I personally will see to it that all 8000 churches in New York City are aware of their willingness to pander to perverts...That's not a threat. It's a promise!" No, dude, that's camp. And gay people love that shit.

Let's hope that McCullough shows up at Judson Memorial in Greenwich Village, one of the dozens of openly gay-friendly churches in New York City (this is not to mention the hundreds that just don't give a damn who's worshiping), and tries to convince parishioners to vote for the candidates who believe their very existence is an abomination. Oh, what fun will ensue. Chances are, we'll find Kevin McCullough on all fours in an alley off Barrow Street, pants around his ankles, face greasy with man-goo, beer bottle sticking out of his ass, yelling for whoever did that to him to come back, that the party's just getting started.

Or they'll just treat him like every other pathetic fundamentalist Christ screecher and shake their heads at how completely sad his little life must be.

(For bonus McCullough bounty of batshittery, check out his most recent scribble, which begins, "Liberals want your child to have sex." It's got oodles of the kinds of death-defying leaps of logic that'd make the Flying Wallendas say, "Oh, fuck, how is that even possible?")