3/06/2006

How To Start a Civil War in the Republican Party, Part 2:
Last Friday, the Rude Pundit offered a very simple, economical way to use the Dubai Ports World deal in a Rovean strategy to exploit the fears and hatreds of Americans to the benefit of Democrats. Let's face it: one of the primary, if not the most powerful, ways, that Republicans have been able to gain and maintain power is through the deplorable (morally) but admirable (in the amoral world of politics) use of racism (with a good, solid dose of gay-bashing tossed in like a salad). Willie Horton, welfare mothers, illegal immigrants, dark-skinned terrorists. On each of these equations, Democrats were on the wrong side. Republicans were able to divide Democratic voters, steal a good many, make another bundle disgusted at the pathetic way that many Democrats responded, and, oh, lookie, Republican majorities to rule the land.

So the Rude Pundit believes that a bit of subtle infiltration, clever word usage, and questioning of loyalties will rip the Republican Party apart with all the disproportionate force of a car windshield on a mosquito. See, Karl Rove's great achievement has been to mobilize the base, as they say, and get all the sweaty, frothing, God-fearin', sexually repressed to self-loathing, ignorant to the point of near-violence citizens out to say that they want their sweaty, frothing, God-fearin' repression and ignorance codified into law. Call it the "Yahoo Strategem," and it's worked for Bush and for the Republicans who want to cling to power. The key, then, is to appeal to the same instincts to either keep the Republican base home in November or, heaven forfend, bring 'em back to the Democratic Party.

How does the Rude Pundit know it'll work? Check out the Decatur, Alabama paper's editorials on Bush threatening to veto any anti-DPW legislation and on the deal itself. Or howzabout the Hattieburg, Mississippi paper, the American, declaring, "The Bush administration needs to rescind the agreement." Or maybe we could head out west, where, in Helena, Montana, readers of the Independent Record responded overwhelmingly against the ports deal, with one reader throwing Bush's own words back at him: "Has the White House forgotten what happened on 9-11?" Yep, the Red States are bleedin' out over this issue, and they need a little poke before it all comes pourin' through.

Does this need to be spelled out? Yeah, there's a fuckuva lotta voters who'd rather lick broken glass than pull the lever (or push the button) for a Democrat. The key is makin' sure they don't go into the voting booth at all or vote for some fringe outsider (get that fat bastard Pat Buchanan to run for somethin').

As for Republicans who try to abandon the President on this issue, well, fuck, if you let the rats leave the sinking ship, all you've got are wet, scared, plague-ridden vermin polluting the streets. Tie their fuckin' tails to the yardarms, motherfucker. Make sure that Bush is synonymous with the United Arab Emirates and that Johnny and Jenny Republican are synonymous with Bush. It's gotta be as blatant as implyin' that Max Cleland loves Bin Laden for wantin' union protections in the Department of Homeland Security. Show Jenny Republican shakin' Bush's hand with a fuckin' UAE flag behind them. At some point, the rats will chew their own tails off, feed on each other, anything to save themselves. And the rest of us can just sit back and enjoy the bloodsport.

Again and again, you gotta keep your eyes on the prize: at least one house of Congress, maybe two, a Presidency in the offing. You may not have a soul at the end of the day, but you'll have power. And what good have the Democrats' souls done them in the last decade?

Update: John Aravosis offers more evidence of why the above will work.