10/26/2005

Why Michelle Malkin Ought To Be Caged Like a Rabid Shitzu:
For conservatives, for anyone who still lingers in support of the war (people who are not unlike those who choose to stay behind for a monster hurricane ostensibly to protect their property and then we're all supposed to feel bad when their drowned asses are found impaled on the jib boom of a sailboat that crashed into their homes), yesterday has to be rendered meaningless. For if they place any significance on the number 2000, they will have to acknowlege that corpses have meaning, and if you stack 2000 of them up, it still does not equal the height of the pile of bullshit that took us into the war. When the press hack for the Iraq operation, Lt. Col. Steve Boylan, says that 2000 is "an artificial mark on the wall," you know they're shit-scared of that number being ingrained in the public. At least until 2100, 2200, 23...

Of course, one of the most war-lovin' whores out there is Michelle Malkin, whose latest "column" (if by "column," you mean "mad spittle-ridden spewings of a self-loathing rightwing spooge bucket") is another vicious attack on the anti-war movement because it "couldn't wait for the death of the 2,000th soldier." She regurgitates Boylan's talking points, that the media shouldn't focus on the deaths so much as they should focus on "the momentous events of Iraqis voting, training for the police and security forces, and joining the new government." 'Cause, you know, the press hasn't covered the Iraqi elections at all.

Malkin, in her blog, had previously joined in attacking the Quakers (the fuckin' Quakers, fer chrissake) for planning a protest around the milestone of the 2000th dead soldier. She called it a "party" being planned by leftists. Now she calls Cindy Sheehan's plans for protest "her macabre lust for the spotlight in preparation for the artificially constructed, media-hyped occasion." Then she conflates the grieving, protesting mothers, the families of soldiers, the soldiers who have returned, the everyday citizens who don't like their government being hijacked by madmen, all the mainstream people who oppose the war, and even Pat Buchanan, with people "[w]ho believe the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and at Shanksville, Pa., were a Bush conspiracy with Israel and/or Saudi Arabia." That's like saying that, say, contemporary Asians who write conservative columns are the same as buck-toothed Japanese stereotypes straight out of a World War II Warner Brothers cartoon.

In her most bizarro comparison, Malkin says these are the same people "[w]ho believe Saddam Hussein should be freed and Guantanamo Bay emptied." The Rude Pundit's not sure who Malkin's been watchin', but who wants Saddam freed? And how is Saddam's imprisonment comparable to torture at Gitmo?

Malkin condemns those who see the number 2000 as having some significance: "Why 2,000? Was the 2nd or 555th or 1,678th death not as worth mourning as any other death with nice round numbers?" The Rude Pundit's not sure if Malkin remembers when the right went nutzoid when Ted Koppel decided to mourn the 2nd and 555th deaths by reading the names on the air. The Rude Pundit's not sure if Malkin remembers that the Bush administration prevented photos being taken of caskets and funerals. The Left has not tried to erase the meaning of each and every death. (And let's not even get into the fucked-up discussion of the meaning of round numbers in general: it's why, say, the centennial of something is seen as more important than its 86th year of existence.)

Michelle Malkin is so pro-war that she keeps vibrators shaped like SA80s, specially made so that when she pulls the trigger, she gets an automatic-weapon sized burst of vibrating speed. God, as she sits there, in her internment cell she keeps in her apartment to remind her what she thinks she's worth to the American government, watching Fox "News," thinking about Oliver North fucking her with the same force, thinking about the tens of thousands of brave soldiers still alive, and, holy fuck, as she bursts into coming, sweet, sweet Iraqi freedom.

As we have surpassed 2000 dead, Malkin and other war supporters are craven, desperate souls. Because we're on the fast track to 3000. Or, more precisely, 2987, the point at which we will have given more lives in Iraq than died on 9/11, the one connection to 9/11 that Iraq war supporters don't want made. Now, there's some fuckin' numbers for you.