9/30/2004

Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Be Sodomized With a Microphone, Part 83:
What a spoogebag, what a cockmonger Bill O'Reilly is. Last week, O'Reilly promised, fuckin' swore, he wasn't gonna go easy on President Bush in the "interview" O'Reilly broadcast over the past three nights, 'cause, really, so much important "truth" telling was going on that we couldn't take it all in one night. Anyone with something that approaches sentient thought knew that the truth was gonna be O'Reilly gruffly asking softball questions, that he was gonna lap dance the President until Bush got a wet spot on his pants. Sure, sure, O'Reilly asked Bush about all the pertinent issues, but, really, and, c'mon, check this shit out: Night 1-"Only five percent of the Iraqi people see the United States as liberators. Are you surprised they don't appreciate the American sacrifice more?" From Night 2 - "What’s Chirac’s problem?" From Night 3 - "One of the big propaganda things against you is the classroom in Florida after 9/11 when Andrew Card came in and whispered in your ear . . . Let’s clear this up once and for all. What were you thinking?" Jesus, O'Reilly may as well have said, "Mr. President, I have this K-Y jelly and I'm going to lube up my asshole so you can penetrate me easily. And, please, while you're back there, feel free to smack my ass like it's Kim Jong-Il's face."

Does O'Reilly really believe his own bullshit? Does he believe that he really doesn't spin anything? Does he know the definition of spin? Does he not see that the words "sacrifice," "problem," and "propaganda" are spin words in those contexts? Is he so deranged, so full of his own rightness, so egomaniacal that he doesn't understand that all he did was give Bush a safe place to spout his lies, like a crazed child psychologist who manipulates kids into saying that they were molested? What kind of depraved, fucked-up world is this when a sanctimonious idiot can actually pretend to be a tough guy but only beats up on the powerless and still have viewers? Because, in the end, O'Reilly is one of those vicious bastards who others cling to even as he degrades them because they believe their ideological proximity to O'Reilly makes them vastly superior to themselves. In other words, stupid fuckers love O'Reilly 'cause they believe he ennobles them when, really, he's just laughing and pointing, laughing and pointing.