7/09/2004

Fearful Friday:
As you toddle off into your weekend, try to maintain some sense of decorum, goddamnit. Don't run around in a panic, trying to get fucked by the last drunk in the bar because it might be your last fuck on earth. Oh, it's tempting to act like this is the end of days, considering the mindnumbing stream of threats, threats, threats emanating from "unnamed senior administration officials."

The Rude Pundit just watched Tom "Where's Your Fucking Neck?" Ridge on CNN this morning, doing the Bush balancing act of saying, "Go about your business" but "Keep vigilant" because there are terrorists who want to blow your shit up, especially if you try to vote this year. Ridge pooh-poohed the idea that this announcement of a threat was in any way politically motivated, despite the fact that Ridge could offer nothing specific about, well, fuck, anything. Just live with a vague sense of anxiety, a little nausea in the pit of your stomach, and a bit of suspicion of anyone looking a little Middle-Eastern. Along those lines, Ridge said that the Department of Homeland Security gets tips from citizens that leads to action against people "every week."

In essence by saying, "We are actively working to gain that knowledge" of the alleged upcoming attack, Ridge was announcing that the Department of Homeland Security was doing its job. It's not unlike the manager of McDonald's announcing, "We're actively working to make your Happy Meal." How about this as administration policy: Shut the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouths unless we need to evacuate. It's hurricane season right now, and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is predicting a 50% chance of an "above normal" amount of hurricane activity. If NOAA acted like the Department of Homeland Security, every couple of weeks, they'd be telling us to bend over and kiss our asses goodbye 'cause sometime, somewhere a big ol' storm is coming.

Fear is a narcotic, man. It makes us wanna curl up in the laps of the ones who would comfort us and make all the monsters go away. But, as children from time immemorial would tell you, sometimes the monsters are the ones with the open arms.